Chapter 13
The morning sun finally rose,
casting a pale,
and incredibly weak light across the snowy yard,
but it brought absolutely no warmth to the day,
and no comfort to my anxious heart.
I sat alone at the kitchen island,
nursing a cup of strong,
and bitterly black coffee,
staring out the frosted kitchen window,
and watching the neighbor's dog playing in the snow.
Diane came down the stairs a little while later,
wearing her thick pink bathrobe,
and fluffy winter slippers,
looking wonderfully rested,
and completely oblivious to my inner turmoil.
How are you feeling this morning,
she asked cheerfully,
pouring herself a cup of coffee,
and leaning over to kiss my forehead warmly.
Much better,
I lied effortlessly,
forcing a bright,
and completely relaxed smile onto my tired face,
I think I just needed a good night of sleep,
and a break from that crowded room.
She sat down across from me at the counter,
stirring a small spoonful of sugar into her cup,
and tapping her fingers lightly on the table,
a clear sign that she was thinking about something.
I was wondering,
she started slowly,
looking down at her steaming coffee cup,
if you feel up to it,
maybe we could go back to the shelter this afternoon.
The words hit me like a physical punch,
and my lungs instantly completely seized up,
forcing me to swallow hard,
to keep my rising panic from showing on my face.
I thought we were done for the week,
I managed to say casually,
keeping my voice incredibly level,
and completely devoid of any alarm.
I know,
she sighed softly,
looking up at me with those deeply compassionate,
and wonderfully kind eyes,
but there were so many people there yesterday,
and I feel terrible that we had to leave early.
I took a slow,
and very deliberate sip of my coffee,
buying myself a few precious seconds of time,
to construct the perfect,
and completely bulletproof excuse.
I have a ton of paperwork to catch up on,
I said apologetically,
shrugging my shoulders in a helpless gesture,
and I still feel a tiny bit exhausted,
maybe we should just wait until next weekend.
She looked slightly disappointed for a moment,
her shoulders dropping just a fraction of an inch,
but then she smiled her gentle,
and understanding smile,
and reached across the table to pat my hand.
Of course,
she agreed warmly,
your health is the most important thing,
we can always go back next Saturday instead,
the shelter will always need more help.
I breathed a massive sigh of internal relief,
thanking the heavens for her endless patience,
but knowing my borrowed time was ticking away,
and I had to act quickly and decisively.
As soon as Diane went upstairs to shower,
I grabbed my heavy winter coat from the rack,
and quietly slipped out the front door,
locking it firmly behind me with a soft click.
The morning air was absolutely frigid,
biting harshly at my exposed cheeks and nose,
and my breath puffed out in great white clouds,
as I hurried down the freshly shoveled driveway.
I climbed into the freezing SUV,
starting the engine with a loud,
and protesting mechanical roar,
and I turned the heater on high,
waiting impatiently for the windshield to defrost.
I had to go back to the downtown district,
back to the miserable,
and completely forgotten part of the city,
to find him before he disappeared again,
or worse,
before he decided to come looking for us.
I backed slowly out of the quiet driveway,
the tires crunching loudly on the packed snow,
and I drove carefully down the slick residential streets,
heading toward the towering skyline in the distance.
The drive took almost forty-five minutes,
due to the terrible road conditions,
and the cautious,
and frustratingly slow morning traffic.
I finally reached the industrial neighborhood,
where the homeless shelter was located,
and I parked the car a few blocks away,
hiding it behind a large,
and completely abandoned brick warehouse.
I pulled my wool hat low over my forehead,
and wrapped my dark scarf tightly around my face,
disguising my features as much as possible,
to avoid being recognized by any of the volunteers.
I walked quickly down the icy sidewalk,
keeping my head down,
and my hands shoved deeply into my pockets,
mimicking the posture of the miserable men around me.
The area around the shelter was incredibly bleak,
filled with piles of dirty,
and completely black snow,
and the alleys were littered with frozen trash,
and discarded cardboard boxes.
I began to scan the small groups of people,
huddled closely together around rusty trash cans,
or sitting hopelessly on the cold concrete steps,
searching desperately for his familiar,
and deeply troubled face.
The fear of actually finding him was intense,
but the terrifying fear of not finding him,
was absolutely paralyzing,
because an unknown threat was always much worse,
than a danger you could clearly see.
I spent an hour walking in freezing circles,
checking every alley,
and peering into every dark,
and depressing doorway along the entire street.
Just as I was about to give up completely,
and return to my freezing car in defeat,
I saw a solitary figure emerging slowly,
from beneath the concrete bridge underpass.
My breath caught painfully in my tight throat,
and I stepped quickly into the deep shadows,
watching him shuffle slowly through the dirty snow,
May you like
knowing immediately and without a single doubt,
that I had finally found Aaron.
